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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The toilet paper mystery

In my twenties I was called out by a young lady friend.  The toilet paper had run out. I replaced the roll. She later told me that I had placed the roll on backwards. I don’t remember which way I installed the toilet paper and our ships parted ways before she could explain the correct orientation of a toilet paper roll.

Since then I have had innumerable hours to observe and contemplate this mystery. Should the toilet paper dispense from the front or the back? The mystery deepens when I have occasion to observe the professional toilet paper dispensers in public rest areas. These are large rolls that rotate clockwise or counter clockwise inside large metal housings. The housing has a lock. I can understand optimization of toilet paper usage in areas utilized by hundreds of people, the dollar savings would flush straight to the bottom line. But, a lock? Toilet paper theft is a threat to corporations? Does the roll unwind clockwise or counter clockwise, is the answer opposite south of the equator?

Why is the professional industrial grade toilet paper housing locked? The additional cost and maintenance would reduce shareholder value and stock price. Is there something else inside the metal housing? I see many people carrying reading materials into these stalls, hidden from public view, are the metal containers being used for valuable secrets, perhaps used by professional spies to hide something in plain sight?

After decades of research and deep thought I have not been able to crack this one.  Do you know?

1 comment:

Donna said...

I didn't know there was a right or wrong way to put on toilet paper.