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Monday, January 9, 2012

Men and Women don’t think the same.

Men think women think like men think, and women think men think like women think. Think about it for a moment. These statements are absolutely false. I know both claims are false and I continue to fall for it, ever since I was 20 years old, time after time I forget that women and men think differently. My brain just cannot handle the reality, because it is too complex. I want things simple, face value, easy, I am a man. A woman’s ability to read subtle emotional clues, to connect a series of basic human actions into a conclusion, is seen by men as mind reading, psychic, super natural. Men have sayings such as, “you play the cards you’re dealt”, or “a man does what man has to do”. Stoic, simple, shallow, it is a good way to live your life, organize your affairs and get through to tomorrow. I’m not implying that men don’t lie, observe any elected male official. I’m talking about the basic operating system men run their brains with, just two lines of code. 1) Observe environment, 2) respond. Women have multiple lines of code. It seems to me that this female code includes things like, compare, evaluate, make connections, and consider emotions. All this is a generalization, about 2% of men do think like women and about 2% of women do think like men. This small group is messed up. The other 98% of us are really messed up.

Men are capable of more complex thinking, and men can think with their heart, it just doesn’t come natural. Men have to conscientiously work to think about people and their feelings. It is easier for a man to figure out a rocket ship than it is to figure out a birthday gift. A man will remember his vehicle’s oil change date and forget his anniversary date. To be fair to men, women don’t know that vehicles need oil.

All this seems a mismatch, maybe God’s sense of humor. No, it is two halves of the whole. This is the balance that worked best, that allowed our ancestors to survive and prosper.  We are here today because our deep time ancestors decided to raise children together. This increased the chance that the children would live to have children, which lived to have children, etc., all the way down through time to you and me. At its best this system works very well, with each adult playing to their strengths. The problem is that we don’t live in caves today, roaming plains and mountains to find prey. We don’t live in small clans based solely on family relationships. We live in a complex modern global society.

What will society look like a hundred years from now? I have no idea, society will not look as it does today, and society will not look as it has in the pass. The relentless competitiveness of a global economic system will force more productive national societies. Those societies that do not evolve will fall behind, becoming marginalized and insignificant on the world stage. The winner will be that society which best allows men to think like men and women to think like women creating a balanced productive whole.

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