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Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Dog needs a bath


“Your dog needs a bath.” My wife repeated. When the dog needs medication, a visit to the vet, a bath or poop scooping, it is my dog. When she wants a companion for her neighborhood walk it becomes her dog. Funny how that works. However she is correct, the dog needs a bath. As a lifelong dog aficionado I have gone through a learning curve about dog baths. As a young man I thought that dogs did not like baths and that I had to overpower the animal, giving them a bath using brute force. This didn’t work very well with small dogs, and then I got a female German Sheppard that grew to over a hundred pounds. Forceful bathing did not work at all with her. She was not going along with the brute force approach and I was forced to rethink my dog bathing methods. She enjoyed chasing the water from the backyard water hose, biting at the water. Dog baths became a very wet summer game. This left a problem with cold winter days. One cold winter day I decided to try using the indoor bath tub. I disrobed and climbed into a bath tub with a 100 pound plus German shepherd, I was nervous about this approach, I had a mental image of my ding dong getting removed by sharp dog teeth. I am a confident, and consistent dog master; my dogs have always accepted me as the final voice on any subject. This first indoor bathtub dog bath actually went well. In the three decades since I have got the indoor dog bath process to near perfection. I sing to the dog in our bath, I make the whole affair a pleasant and playful affair. My mental attitude is “you have no choice dog, let's have fun with this”.  I can wash three 50 pound dogs in about 20 minutes. It does take a little longer to clean the bathtub after all the dog baths.
My dog needs a bath. Most of my dogs have been what is called a “rescue” dog, this long hair Chow I got as a puppy and acclimated her to indoor baths as a pup. How I have to select a dog shampoo. I have medicated shampoo that I had to get a veterinarian prescription to purchase. $60 for 16 fluid ounces, ChlorhexiDerm shampoo, plus the standard flea and tick shampoos, oatmeal based shampoo, and a “soothing” aloe dog shampoo. All of these shampoo concoctions are mixes of toxic chemicals and have warning labels. All the choices cost more than my regular guy’s hair shampoo. Not hard to guess which one I’m going to select. I figure my shampoo can be used daily on a hairy feral mammal, me. It should be usable on a dog. I use the specialty shampoos when I have some specific objective, such as fleas or a skin rash. Most of the time I use regular, cheap, man’s shampoo and there have not been any problems.
The final issue is how the dog feels about her own scent. Most dogs after a bath will immediately find something to roll in, preferably something like used baby diapers. I use men’s after shave lotion, sprinkle it on a towel, lay the towel on the ground and let the dog roll in the scent of after shave lotion. I would guess that a women’s perfume would be just as acceptable to the dog but either scent is better than whatever the dog would naturally find.
Now that the dog is clean and acceptable I can finally get back to finding a subject to blog about. Maybe another political rant, or writing about the idiocy of professional economist.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That was really funny...someone should take a
photo or two.