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Monday, September 10, 2012

Sisters



                For most adult males understanding male-female relationships is a lost cause. No hope of comprehension, no possibility of mastering the intrigue and subtle possibilities. I won’t even mention teenage boys, as a teenager I understood girls the way a fish understands climbing trees. As an adult male comprehension did get better, in my thirties I could talk with sixteen year old girls. For a thirty year old woman I was as entertaining as a bad cross word puzzle. By my forties I had learned to say “Yes, dear” and “you look great in that dress” and the proper position to leave the toilet seat. Then decided I had reached the apex of my ability and returned to mumbles, grumbles and grunts. But life had not finished messing with me. I married a woman with many, many sisters.
After decades I am still not certain how many sisters and nieces there are, dozens at least. Adding sisters into the mix increases the psychological danger by magnitudes, to quantify the difficulty I need scientific notation or phrases like an “it is an octodecillion times harder than juggling chain saws". For just a simple example, two sisters are fighting and one is my wife. If I take her side she will be angry because I said something about her sister, if I don’t take her side she will be angry because I didn’t cover her back. Indeed, all the sisters will be mad at me. The nieces will just snub me. Make things a little more complex by adding in boyfriends and brother-in-laws and there is simply no possible correct response to any question or comment.
Women think men are simple or at best dim witted brutes. Not really, we are just pretending as we are in basic survival mode trying to make it to the next day by using mumbles, grumbles and grunts.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sisters rock, good article!