The wisdom of age

With age comes wisdom, I read that on the internet. This hard earned wisdom needs to be shared with miscreant youths to correct their errant ways. My grandfather showed this inter-generational wisdom while trying to save me from Beatles music. Now I am obliged to offer help for today's misguided youth, we face the most important election of our lifetimes, it will be good to get it done with so we can move forward with unimportant elections. All this business uncertainty can be replaced with firm and certain knowledge of the future. In turn allowing the job creators to spend like crazy while creating jobs for the poor and middle class, I am giddy with anticipation. My judicious advice, first, don’t listen to Beatles music and second, believe everything a politician tells you.

As the years rolled by I learned (that is how I became wise), learning that politicians always tell us the hard truth and they value personal honesty above all else. We are the country that produced George Washington who “could not tell a lie” about cutting down the Cherry tree and later “honest Abe Lincoln”. Politicians have followed these examples down to the current day, honoring the higher calling of public duty. Men and women that intuitively understand the importance of open, honest public debate for participatory governance. Across my life time I have observed the honesty of Richard Nixon to the recent progressive social commitment of Todd Akin. Between this two are many more political leaders that by their learned example make me proud to be American.

We are blessed with cable news reporting that is fair and balanced, always using exhaustive research to bring the truth into our living rooms. News programs staffed with dedicated and thoughtful commentators delivering unbiased analysis, carefully explaining all the dangers threatening our constitutional right to happiness and mall shopping. Even this high level of professionalism is eclipsed by the straight forward honesty of the political adverts.  A recent advertisement reported that one of the candidates drowns baby kittens in sulfuric acid for fun. Another has reported that the opposing candidate kills puppy dogs with a claw hammer.  I certainly like kitties but I love puppies. My mind is made up.
Politicians have set a exemplar example for our young to follow. Now it is up to young men to start wearing suspenders to keep their pants up while young women need to understand that bra straps are not a fashion statement. With time you too can become a wise old sage, for now boys, keep your pants up.