My stomach growled while waiting for a parking spot at the Donut and Kolache Shop. Finally someone pulled out and I quickly threw the MiniCooper into the open slot. I climbed out of my low slung vehicle and headed inside. A long line with one teenager waiting customers. I settle to wait my turn.
The regular group of retirees already seated and eating with two tables pulled together, some empty chairs for late arrivals. An informal group I sometimes join for coffee, donuts and argument. I throw a smile and a wave, getting back affable responses, thinking to myself Stupid old coots. They go back to the same discussion they have been having for a week. I’ll listen while waiting but I’m not joining today, it had become a circus ride going round and round.
“We didn’t lose. The election was stolen by illegal’s voting twice!” George huffed.
You’ve only been claiming that for a week, George, think up something new.
Harvey leans back, sips his coffee, and shakes his head before replying. “No George. There’s always some foolishness but this election was 99% honest. Our guy lost.”
I like Harvey, a real reasonable guy.
“Well”, George snorted, “Next time we’ll run a real conservative with a real conservative message.”
Right George. Rush Limbaugh 2016. A sure winner.
“It wasn’t the message.” Larry smirked. “It is the product you’re selling.”
And cue up the talking points in three, two, one.
“You give em’ free stuff, we’ll give em’ freedom.” George snapped. “Free cell phones, free food, free houses, free condoms, free cars just everything free, free, free. Well there ain’t nothin’ free.”
“BO ran the better campaign.” Fred replied. “We need to study and learn.”
This is the part where the smart RINO guy tells us about cell phone apps and putting sombreros on the republican candidates.
“We will adapt and prevail, better tactics and minority outreach. No more talk about rape. We should prefect our message, you know, about free markets and states’ rights and George Washington and Federalism and 1787.”
Yeah right, Fred, how about George Wallace in the 1960s?
“Perfect the message” Larry snorted. “Perfect the message. Perfect the message. You can’t sell a lemon by calling it an apple. You blew a billion dollars on messaging. We heard your big message and it had a big problem, it doesn’t fit the real world.”
I don’t know which hurts worse, the right nut or the left nut.
“Forget your message and work on governing. We have big problems that will only be solved by pulling together. Compromise is ….”
“NO COMPROMISE!” George interrupts. “Let the country go off the cliff and see how you like THAT!”
Breathe easy George, no wonder you need those heart pills.
George does take a breath and eyes the last donut. Squinting at Larry he says. “You gonna eat that donut?”
“Tell you what” Larry answers, “I’ll split it 50/50.”
George relaxes and nods. “Deal”
I’ve finally reached the front of the line and the teenager asks “What for you, Sir?” I think I will join the guys today. Go for the sugar high. “I’ll take a dozen fresh donuts and one ham and cheese kolache”.
With gifts in hand I head for the group. Pulling up a chair while getting the usual friendly morning greetings. Setting the donuts in the middle I ask.
“So ... anyone sign that Texas petition to secede?”