It’s 4 AM, and I’m still awake. Some nights I can’t sleep, I get out of bed and go sit in the living room, waiting for tired eyes. I need the break from lying in bed and counting sheep, the sheep were starting to ask questions. My body wants rest, but my mind will not rest, and the trouble of ages dominates my mental poster boards. The impending doom of all things good is scheduled to occur tomorrow. I read that on the internet, and we all know that the internet cannot tell lies (I learned that watching a TV commercial). I had spent the early evening reading political blogs, RedState, Breitbart, TownHall, HotAir, American Thinker, then HuffPost, Daily Kos, Think Progressive, and finally stopping at VICE Video. Now my mind will not settle down, I am surrounded by danger and ruin, now we are facing our final chance to save America, the last chance to save our children and grandchildren. I must find the perfect slogan, a precisely targeted message, or the entire conservative movement is lost. Words, a small hand full of words, the right words for the final victory over evil progressivism, only then all will be right. My mind will not rest until I find the Words, the message that will convert blacks, women, Asians, Mexicans, Catholics, polar bears, and college students to conservatism. Thinking a moratorium would help clear my mind, I turn on the television.
I grip the remote control and command forth MSNBC, within moments my mind settles, I start to hum kumbaya and look around for someone to hug, I am alone and have to hug myself. Feeling much better I flip the channel to Fox News, my reptilian brain stirs and I feel anger and fear, with a driving need to bite someone. Clutching the remote I punch up CNN, immediately all higher mental functions cease. Finally, moderation of the turmoil, surcease from the pain, with my mind in neutral I start to relax, sleep only minutes away.
I wake with the predawn light gently filling the world outside my picture window. The cable show had been shut down by the automatic power saver mode. I watch the early bird hopping over my lawn. The early bird appears to be stalking the bird feeder. The bird feeder remains unaware, and the early bird catches it. The Chow Chow is resting easily on a rug, eyes focused on me; she is waiting for some positive sign of life, some movement presaging consciousness on my part. I stand and move to make coffee, the Chow’s relieve is obvious, she knows there will be food and water for one more day.
It will be another hot Texas day, is this summer hotter than last summer? Is global warming going to flood my homestead with rising sea levels? No… no… NO… Global warming is a scam by the Weather Channel, an assault on my freedom and liberty by an elitist science. If the liberals don’t kill me, the conservatives certainly will. My mind seizes up, going into automatic safe mode, cancelling all input. My hearing ceases, my eyes glaze, and my mouth dries, I can’t even feel the clothing on my body. Everything becoming dark and soundless, the end has arrived, doom has come early. I see the ground coming up to meet me.
Slowly my mind reboots, my fingers tingle, a humming sound builds in my ears, and a blurred gray world floats before me. I am on the floor with the dog licking my face. I am thankful for the healing powers of dog saliva. With slow measured movement I rise, turn and look out the window, some instinct stops me from thinking about … something. I vaguely remember that today is important, but why? It’s trash day, that’s it. I have to gather all useless items and throw them away, that’s it.