Another Sunday, another set of NFL football games. Sunday
afternoon has become my favorite part of the week, especially if the home town
team is winning.
I have noted a strange correlation between myself and
unrelated external events. Whenever I can watch the home team play real-time,
they loss, if I miss the game, learning the final score days later, they win.
For the Houston Texans to win, I have to miss the game.
A mysterious metaphysical relationship exist between my
passive inaction and the sporting outcome. Even more confounding, this seems a lifelong
trend over a broad range of possibilities. When I buy a stock, the value drops,
when I sell a stock, the value increases. When I purchase a new car, there is a
manufacture’s recall. Whenever I change employer, the new company quickly develops
financial problems. Any politician I vote for losses the election. Clothing I
buy goes out of style. It never rains when I carry an umbrella. The list is
endless and the correlations absolute.
This recent insight has left me thunder struck, I possess
power almost beyond imaging. I can ruin political careers, end dynasties, alter
weather, create market wealth, destroy national economies, and shape the future
of fashion. It appears I have power without limit.
With great power comes great responsibly. How can I use my immense
powers to improve the lot of Mankind? The
advancement of civilization rest on my shoulders alone. Imagine living with
that burden! As a metaphysical process the detailed cause and effect
relationship is unknowable. I need a name for this phenomena, this warped
marvel of reality, I will call it “The Force”.
Then I realize there is a dark side to The Force. If I use
it to extract billions from Goldman Sachs, the final bill will be paid by the
American taxpayer, if I use The Force to give the Houston Texans a perfect
season, other teams have to loss. The Force is governed by some conservation of
good vs. bad prosperity. In the end it all balances out, with the final equation equaling
zero.
For now, I will keep my powder dry, but don’t mess with me,
I can seriously hurt you.
1 comment:
So funny, I had a similar experience with buying a stock, only for its price to tank downwards. Then I tried short selling a stock, since my choosing it causes its decline. It didn't work, the stock that I short sold went up. You can't win for trying.
But it was for the good in the end, because I learned how to trade both ways: trade up and trade down.
What is it they say: when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
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