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Monday, December 14, 2015

News You Can Use

News you can use.

I’ve been on vacation and only had access to CNN international and Fox News. This week’s NEWS update will have to be brief.

-          Texas plans succession from America.

-          Austin plans succession from Texas.

-          San Antonio plans relocation to Mexico.

-          Houston remains clueless.

-          Shootout in Waco by rival biker gangs results in nine dead, NRA proclaims guns makes us safer.

-          Terrorist on “no fly” list allowed to legally purchase guns, 2nd amendment protects us all.

-          Donald Trump leads in the Republican primary.

-          Windows 10 automatically updated my old computer, had to buy new computer.

-          Global terrorist are the newest ground troops for the NewWorldOrder (NWO)

-          Two year old girl killed by stray bullets in drive by shooting, NRA demands all new born receive a 9mm Glock with a birthright Concealed Gun Carry permit, supplied by taxpayer money.

-          Republican presidential candidates reveal their newest federal budget proposals, proclaim their target of a $30 trillion national debt will finally “Starve the Beast”.

-          Earlier sunsets blamed on global warming, proposed solutions will correct problem shortly before Christmas.

-          Later sunsets will continue until midsummer because of global warming.

-          Global warming deniers discover secret emails that were never written by anyone.

-          Pyramids are vast hollow warehouses, used to store the NWO drones.

-          Scientist discover Underground chambers at Stonehenge where Loch Ness monster hibernates.

-          COP21 meeting in Paris reaches agreement no one has to follow.

-          Congressional republicans plan to not follow COP21 agreement.

-          Congressional republicans plan to do something, because … ah, well, something. (I’ll get back to you when I figure it out)

-          In the republican primary the shyster Cuban lawyer in closing in on the cranky New Yorker.

That’s it for now, tomorrow is my least favorite vacation day. I’ll be traveling back to Houston.

1 comment:

StevenGWyatt said...

You are telling me CNN International or Fox Didn't cover "Hacker finds Code in Windows 10 update that intentionally forces you to buy a new computer?"